Life Cycle of a Hollywood Club – Pt 1

Generally a Hollywood club has a 2-3 year lifespan. There are some that go longer – Les Deux for example has had an almost 4 year run and counting – and some go much shorter (Apple Lounge got Ed Hardy-ed in less than a year). But in general this is how it goes:

A couple notes on this: 1) It might sound like this is about race but it’s really about social class and sometimes social class and race go together. 2) These are broad strokes…each tier bleeds into the other. Ok on to the show….

Tier 1: "You’re not on the list"

When a club from a proven owner opens up, it starts in Tier 1. It’s packed with 9’s and 10’s and there are hardly any guys except the promoters for most of the night (by the end it’s about 30% guys). 7’s get shot down at the door and go home to purge. There are a ton of paparazzi outside. Inside there is a heavy skew toward scantily clad white, blonde girls with big fake boobs and poofs in their hair.

When a club from a proven owner opens up, it starts in Tier 1. It’s packed with 9’s and 10’s and there are hardly any guys except the promoters for most of the night (by the end it’s about 30% guys). 7’s get shot down at the door and go home to purge. There are a ton of paparazzi outside. Inside there is a heavy skew toward scantily clad white, blonde girls with big fake boobs and poofs in their hair.

There are some celebrity sightings, most of whom have been paid to be there. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than to get past the door. The club gets press in Us Weekly and TMZ. They sell bottle service at exorbitant prices and still they make sure that the guys dropping $2,000 are good looking. Voyeur is currently a Tier 1 club.

Tier 2:"300"

Once the Persians know where the blonde hotties go they immediately start infiltrating. The door people form a Spartan like phalyx to hold off the invading Persian army. However the Tier 1 crowd has been frequenting the same club for months and ennui is setting in. Their burnout means the crowd gets lighter, loosening the door policy. Eventually they start selling bottle service to Persians, bankers, and guys who live at home with their parents and lease their car so they can buy bottles at the club. The girls are still really hot but they are more diverse and the ratio drops to about 55%-60% girls. Towards the end of this phase the club starts charging cover charge to guys but not girls. This practice is actually illegal.

Tier 3:

"Bridge and Tunnel"

Everyone in the club is from the valley (Burbank, Sherman Oaks, etc) or similarly far away places. We don’t actually have bridges and tunnels in LA so the equivalent are the hills that separate the valley from Hollywood and the Westside. Clientele are primarily Hispanic and Asian and the ratio is about 60% - 65% dudes. You’ll also start to see a lot more grinding as the preferred method of approach.Empire is currently a tier 3 club.

Stay tuned for Part 2 next week where I cover Tiers 4-6