Thank you

These have got to be the 2 rarest words in all of Los Angeles. I marvel at how infrequently I hear it. My fellow promoters and I talk about it all the time. Look I know you think you’re doing me a favor coming to the club. Yes, I get paid when you come but our life isn’t quite the Lil’ Wayne video you probably imagine. Sure I have a good time - after all it’s why I do this - but let me break it down for you.

If you are a girl and at our table, we might give you a drink from our bottle. Keep in mind you are one of many girls we’ve brought to the club..maybe as many as 50 or 60. Now a bottle of Grey Goose holds enough booze for about 12 drinks. I know they probably don’t teach math at FIDM but 12 is much less 60 and that doesn’t even include all the random bottle rats hovering around the table. Now I’ve mixed and given you a drink. Is it too much to ask for a little not-so-common courtesy? I know you have an inflated sense of self-importance because you have a skinny headband on and a poof in your hair and of course your new store bought boobs but that doesn’t mean you forgo the little bit of etiquette you extend your local Starbucks barista. Because even if your mom didn’t teach you any manners, I will.

Just this past Saturday night I heard stories from promoters I have worked with of girls barking drink orders at them and jingling their empty drinks like the promoter is some hired help or something. You wanna bark orders at someone? Go yell at the Wendy’s drive-thru guy. If you’re coming to our table and looking for a drink – because God-forbid you actually pay for something – then at least have the decency to say hello and introduce yourself and say thank you when I hand you the mostly roofie-free Vodka / Soda from our bottle.

This goes for guys too. If we get you in when you don’t show up with any girls then say thank you. Maybe even offer to buy me a drink. Yeah I know it looks like I’m ballin’ but I assure you I’m not getting paid that much and only have a few drink tickets and bottle for a lot of thirsty and sober girls looking to get fucked up. So I end up buying my own drinks most of the time.

I know this isn’t exactly global warming or health care or something actually important but it’s just endemic of an overall sense of undeserved entitlement that most people (especially women) in this town have and it irritates the shit out of me.

I mean if a “thank you” is good enough for one of Mickey Avalon’s groupies, its good enough for you.